So yesterday after spending an unfortunate number of hours cleaning my bedroom (I even vacuumed the cobwebs off the ceiling! What? Am I kidding? No, why?) I had a flash of inspiration. I dashed to my back room, flung open the closet door, and dove in! After an epic battle with some stuffed animals and old textbooks, I emerged with a battered old Sketchers shoe box. When I opened it, my face was bathed in golden light as I beheld my Holy Grail:

Ah, Sega Genesis, how I've missed you! Cheerfully I carted the shoe box to my bedroom, and examined the older television sitting on my dresser. It was old enough for me to be able to plug the ancient-technology cable trailing from the back of the Genesis directly into the TV. Plug the machine into the nearest available outlet, stick a Sonic cartridge in, turn it on, and....

"Sega!" the TV sang as the blue logo flashed across the screen and the oh-so-familiar Sonic the Hedgehog music chirped thinly from the speakers.

YES!

It still worked! I was so excited!

My mom was always very strict about the television when I was growing up. If I'm remembering correctly I was allowed to watch two shows every week, so maybe hour or two, with an occasional Disney movie thrown in. That's in a week. Not that much. However my dad was in the navy and was gone on submarines for months at a time, and when he was gone, my mom would borrow our family friends' Genesis and I would get to play a bit. I guess it was something of a consolation prize, something to get my mind off the fact that daddy was gone again.

I was probably sevenish? eightish? and I had a blast playing it of course. But my favorite thing to do was watch Mom play, especially Shining in the Darkness. I remember being really excited because Mom was letting me stay up late - REALLY late! - so I could watch her play just a little bit longer.

I got a little older, and still loved the Genesis (which gradually sort of become ours by default - the family friends didn't really want it). My friend Matt and I would obsessively play Altered Beast and Sword of Vermillion. I got older still, then even older, and suddenly the Genesis had been collecting dust on a shelf for many years and I was ready to move out of my parents' home. I asked to take the ancient console with me, and soon it was ensconced in my tiny garage studio apartment. When I moved from there to my duplex, it was shoved into a closet and forgotten. In the three years I've been moved out, I don't think it's been hooked up once.

Until yesterday!

I spent hours crawling through dungeons with Shining in the Darkness, trying to remember how to bring up the cheat options in Altered Beast (press Start and B at the same time), collecting rings with Sonic, being shamefully schooled by the computer in Mortal Kombat 2, and visiting many other old friends.

I think the Genesis can stay hooked up for a while this time.

^_^

So. Those who know me know about my strange fascination/fear for Brazilian Wandering Spiders.

I am reminded that three years ago in April is when that pub chef in England was bitten by the BWS hiding in a crate of bananas.

Thinking about that I did a quick google search for BWS news, as I do from time to time. Mostly to make sure that there hasn't been a population surge in western Washington. What? But BWS only lives in South / Central America? That's what YOU think. What happens when they adapt to our climate, storm all the banana crates they can find, and TAKE OVER? HUH? HUH?!

Paranoid? Me? Pffft.

But anyway, I found this tidbit of information:

Natural Viagra: Spider Bite Causes Erection
By Jeanna Bryner, LiveScience Staff Writer
posted: 01 May, 2007 12:10 am ET

WASHINGTON — A Brazilian spider delivers more than a painful bite that sends most victims to the hospital. Its venom stimulates an hours-long erection. Now scientists have figured out the chemical that seems to be responsible for the penis boost.

In Brazil, emergency room staff can immediately spot the victims of a bite from the Brazilian wandering spider (Phoneutria nigriventer). Patients not only experience overall pain and an increase in blood pressure, they also sport an uncomfortable erection. “The erection is a side effect that everybody who gets stung by this spider will experience along with the pain and discomfort,” said study team member Romulo Leite of the Medical College of Georgia. “We’re hoping eventually this will end up in the development of real drugs for the treatment of erectile dysfunction.”

This information was confirmed in a BBC article.

Wow.

Just wow.

O_O

Doomsday

"If you're hungry... have a piece of your friend."

So my friend Nils and I are sitting on my sofa watching 'Ashura'. It's somewhere between one and three o'clock in the morning and we're exhausted, dozing a bit, not even laughing at the ridiculous movie any more.

Suddenly there was a thumping sound from the front porch, and as we twist around to look towards the entry, the front door FLIES open and a strange woman stumbles into the room.

There was dead silence.

Nils and I stared wide eyed at the intruder, rudely shaken from our Japanese action movie induced trance, unable to make a sound. The tall woman was dressed in a long brown skirt and non-descript top. She stared at us for a long moment. Her eyes slowly got bigger.

Silence. Nils and I continued to give her our best deer-in-headlights look.

"WHOOPS!" the woman announced, flinging an arm in the air and slowly backing/stumbling towards the door. "Wrong house!" As she fled the premises she tossed in a quick "I am so sorry" as she hurriedly closed the door behind her.

Nils and I sat in silence for another long moment.

"I think I'm going to go lock your deadbolt," Nils said finally.

Ah, drunk people......

Despite roadblocks such as laziness and procrastination, I have actually been forcing myself to go to the gym on a regular basis. And by regular I mean just about every day.

A few days ago I happened to think to myself, hey, maybe just for shits and giggles I'll step on the scale.

It had been six days since I started going to the gym regularly and I certainly wasn't expecting anything. I kinda figured, well, maybe a pound or two disappeared.

Then the further I had to push the little slider bar thing, the wider my eyes got.

6 lbs! In under a WEEK!

I'm excited. ^_^

And Mom, I know you're waiting for it: YOU WERE RIGHT!

I learned something today.

Buyer agent Noelle sits at a desk next to mine. Noelle is from England, but is actually Irish - her mother was full blooded Irish, and she spent part of her life living in Ireland, and when she moved away, visited relatives there countless times.

We're chatting a bit as we usually do in the morning, and I mentioned my plan's for St. Patty's day. She turned and gave me a look. "What?" I asked, confused.

Noelle proceeded to explain to me that in Ireland, no one ever refers to St. Patrick as St. "Patty". She said that is a good way to end up dead in a ditch with your head bashed in. I was surprised, and asked her to elaborate.

Apparently in Ireland the term "Patty" is the equivalent to the nastier racial slur against African Americans in the states - and I don't even want to type that word. Therefore, calling St. Patrick St "Patty" is considered horrible and derogatory, and the Irish get pretty anrgy when you insult their patron saint. Noelle told me with a laugh about how when she first moved to the states she was shocked the first time she heard "St. Patty".

So. St. Patrick it is.

Learn something new every day. ^_^

Yesterday, when I got out of the shower, my gaze fell upon the steam covered bathroom mirror. Instantly I leapt over to it, and with my finger a blur of motion, I wrote:

I've been having some trouble thinking of something amusing and/or possibly witty to post about. That will happen when you're sleeping only a few hours a night and aren't really eating that much. Oh yeah, and I drank about a bottle and a half of wine last night.



So anyway, I submit to you.....



THIS:



Engadget.com says: Homegrown alarm clock tests your math to gauge alertness



We've seen some fairly sinister alarm clocks in our day -- ones that fly around, nearly make you go deaf and "explode" if you don't get up in time, for starters -- but this DIY creation is definitely lobbying for top honors. The Turing Alarm Clock, which has admittedly been making the rounds of late, starts making racket just as any other alarm clock when the time comes, but rather than letting you smash the snooze button, it forces you to answer math questions with varying levels of difficulty before quieting down. Evil? Sure. Effective? You betcha. Check the video after the jump.



Now is it just me, or does this seem like the cruelest invention to be created by man (possibly with satanic inspiration)? I won't be getting one any time soon, that's for sure.

Q. So if someone hands you a coil of razor wire, a latex glove, and a handful of nails and says, "hey, chew on this for an hour", where are you?

A. The dentist's office!

Okay, so they don't actually give you razor wire and nails, but damn that's what my mouth feels like when they're finished. So I go through all of that, then the dentist comes in, glances inside my mouth for about two and a half seconds, and tells me that I take perfect care of my teeth - they're fantastic. Oh, and remember to get those wisdoms removed before you're twenty-five!

Thanks, man. Thanks.

I had dinner with a very good friend of mine recently. We talked a lot about a lot of different things, including the past men in our lives. When she was in college she was dating a basketball player who happened to be extremely religious. One day he said to her (not entirely serious, but not really joking):

"You are going to burn in the devil's frying pan."

I have to admit I got a pretty good laugh out of that. ^_^


On another note, I've started a blog to chronicle my exploits in the infamous World of Warcraft:

http://azerothianencounters.blogspot.com


And P.S.....

I'm starving. ^_^ Is it lunch time yet?

The undignified, painful, and just all around yicky That Time of the Month is upon me. I am irritated. And I would like to take a moment to remind those of the male gender about the Ten Commandments of That Time of the Month:

1. Thou Shalt Not argue with the Woman. Ever. Until such time as she sighs with relief and proclaims That Time of the Month to have passed.

2. Thou Shalt Not make fun of the Woman in her delicate time.

3. Thou Shalt Not remind the Woman that she was going to start a diet when she demands a Dominos Pizza or chocolate bar.

4. Thou Shalt Not condem the Woman for wanting to watch When You Were Sleeping, Sex in the City, or other such chick TV.

5. Thou Shalt Not argue with the Woman. Ever. What? I said that already? NO I DIDN'T!

6. Thou Shalt agree with the Woman all the time, no matter what she says, even if she makes ludicrous statements.

7. Thou Shalt watch whatever movie the Woman wants to watch.

8. Thou Shalt provide a shoulder to cry on should the Woman's emotions become too much for her.

9. Thou Shalt provide Dominos Pizza and ice cream.

10. Thou Shalt give copious amounts of sympathy when the Woman complains about mentrual cramps.

Obey these Ten Commandments.

OR ELSE.

Death Sentence

R
**1/2 out of ****
2007


It's the return of the movie review! It's funny because I've definitely seen quite a few brand new movies in the theater the past couple months (including gems such as Juno and gag fests like Sweeney Todd), but I wanted to review the Kevin Bacon vigilante movie that I just watched and never even saw advertised. I have no idea if it was ever in theaters over here.

I picked up this movie for two reasons:


1.) Kevin Bacon in an action flick

2.) Kevin Bacon as a vigilante


And it was everything I thought it would be. ^_^


Premise: Mild mannered executive businessman Kevin Bacon has the perfect family. Beautiful, loving wife, star athlete teenage son, and... that other son. The one that could never live up to his brother's amazingness. Star athlete son Brendan and Bacon are on their way home from Brendan's hockey game. Stop at a has station. Brendan is brutally murdered as part of a gang initiation ritual. Commence deep burning rage and vigilante killings.




This movie... I have to laugh a little bit when I think about this movie because I never expected this to be anything more than a mindless action flick. It was much better than I expected it to be. It shows surprising depth when dealing with the aftermath of the favored son's death, and portrays Bacon's murder of the young man who killed his son in a realistic manner. After all, Bacon really is supposed to be just your average guy. The scene where he's looking for a weapon in his tool shed is great - he rummages through boxes picking up then discarding hedge trimmers, a rusty machete, hammers, etc. until he finally finds an old hunting knife and decides that this will be the murder weapon.

The movie goes on a little longer than necesary, I think, and the waiting for Bacon to finally shed his executive skin and turn into a complete badass gets a little frustrating. But man, is it worth waiting for!

**Spoiler Warning** There is a scene at the end that although sending the usual message of OMG he became the thing he hates 'you are the monster now' type thing, is still fairly powerful. After Bacon's rampage through the gang hideout, after his final showdown with the gang leader, they sit together on a bench, each bleeding from multiple gunshot wounds. Gang leader looks over at Bacon, taking in his newly shaved head and black leather jacket, and chuckles. "Look at you," he wheezes. "You look like one of us."

"Look what I've made you."

The writing is good, the acting is good, and the story is good - but even so, it's really just a canned plot action movie, which is why I didn't give it a better rating. Regardless, if you're in the mood for a decent action movie, this is definitely a good one to pick up. It's certainly not disappointing, and if you're expecting absolute crap (which to be honest is exactly what I was expecting when I rented it) you're going to be in for a pleasant surprise.

"I need to buy some guns."

Monday morning, around ten or eleven, my cell phone began to ring. I look at the caller ID and see Suzanne. My landlady.

Was she calling to tell me that she was going to have the tree growing right next to the window removed? Was she calling me to let me know that she was having a landscaper come out to clean up the nasty hedge? Or maybe calling to tell me that she finally decided to have the porch re-painted?

No.

My landlady was calling to let me know that she was planning to put my duplex on the market. As in sell it.

This caused a brief moment of panic, as Suzanne (who I adore, by the way - she's awesome) carefully explained that she wanted this to cause as little inconvenience to me as possible, and that she didn't want me to worry, and that she would be drawing up a new lease for me so that I would be protected when the place sells (I was skating by on a month to month deal). Then she says that although she's told the tenants in the unit next to mine that the place will be on the market, she only wants to talk to me about having MY unit available for agents to show. Because, "I've been here so long, she knows me better, and we have a really good relationship." And she doesn't even care what state the place is in.


Oh. Thanks.

I told her that I had spent six years in real estate, and I know how important it is for a place to be available for show, and for it to be clean and show well. I told her she could put a lock box on the door, and as long as agents called me, I didn't care if they showed when I was at work.

Me: "Oh, and when is the place going on the market?"

Suzanne: "Wednesday!"


Me: ".........."

TWO DAYS. TWO DAYS!


I am reluctant to admit it, but my place was an absolute PIT. And by "pit" I mean that you might not have wanted to walk in the front door without a bulldozer and a hazmat suit. Seriously. So this news didn't exactly come at the best of times.

Two days of serious cleaning were embarked upon. Two days of which Bob was absent for - At work the first day, which simply can't be helped, BUT in Seattle hanging out with a friend yesterday. Which could have been helped. And we really don't need to talk about it right now since I'm still pretty irritated and am liable to launch into a tirade. ^_^ Especially about the fact that I called him to find out when he would be home after I had to get off work early and was scrubbing soap scum off the bathroom wall, and he said "I'm hanging out on the Seattle waterfront in a sculpture museum..."

ANYWAY.

Every room in the house except the bedroom is spotless and ready for showing. But in the process of cleaning, I found some exciting things that I had forgotten all about, and in some cases didn't even know existed:

Item: Ninja Launcher
Location: On top of the refrigerator
Comments: This is a gun that launches inch long ninjas. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, it's awesome. ^_^

Item: Half full Amp energy drink can
Location: Upside down on my computer desk
Comments: Mess? Yeah.


Item: Various electronics chargers
Location: Scattered throughout the back room
Comments: I still have no idea what half of those chargers are for.


Item: Sketchbook
Location: Underneath my drafting table
Comments: This is a sketchbook from when I was like thirteen or fourteen. Pretty much hilarious. And comforting to see how far I've come in my drawing skills. ^_^


Item: Poop
Location: By the window in the dining room
Comments: No, I'm not kidding. Unfortunately. However, this was an extremely recent thing. It's not like I've had poop in my dining room for weeks. I promise.


Item: Papers detailing the damage to my car from 2005
Location: On top of the refrigerator
Comments: From when I hit a deer going 60 mph down Highway 308. It was kinda funny/scary reading the two page list of things that had to be fixed. Reminded me to be grateful every day I wake up in the morning.

Item: Dead spider
Location: Curtains in the dining room
Comments: All kinds of fun things in the dining room apparently.


There were lots of other things that I found, but this is a pretty good list for now. ^_^ Tonight Bob and I will be cleaning the bedroom. Until we finished, I thought I could just keep the door closed and put a sign up that says:

The Scene: I'm getting ready for work at a slightly less frantic pace than usual, and have a chance to chat with Bob, who has the day off, before I duck out the door.

Me: So what's on your agenda for today?

Bob: My hidden agenda, or my regular agenda?

Me: *pausing to consider* Erm... both. Regular first.

Bob: I'm going to spend the first half of the day relaxing. I want to play some World of Warcraft and clean. Then after lunch I'm going to take a look at your car.

Me: Sounds good.

Bob: But my hidden agenda... I'm going to play World of Warcraft for the first half of the day... maybe do a little cleaning. Then I'm going to take a look at your car.

Me: *well, at least he's still planning to look at my car, which is making weird noises when I turn. I am convinced that it's going to blow up* How nefarious. I'm really glad you're going to look at my car today. I'm coming home for lunch, do you want to just drive me back to work and take the car? Or will that leave you enough time, if you have to pick me up at six?

Bob: It'll be fine. I just need to look at it so I can order parts.

Me: *groan*

Bob: Don't worry, it's not going to be expensive.

Me: How do you know? You haven't even looked at it yet!

Bob: Because your car has a simple suspension... blah blah blah Car Speak, front suspension blah blah Car Speak joint, blah blah blah Car Speak blah blah....

Me: *eyes glazing over* Oh. Uh huh.

Bob: *begins singing* It's got a top! And a bottom! And a turny turny turny! It's your suspension!

Me: OOOOH! Now I get it!

The Scene: It's 1 o'clock in the morning. I'm in the bathroom getting ready for bed, and I make a horrible disocovery. I bounce into the bedroom and hop onto the bed where Bob is already tucked in and reading TIME magazine.

Me: Bob! Guess what I forsee in our immediate future!

Bob: *suspiciously* What?

Me: A trip to the market!

Bob: Like... how immediate?

Me: Oh, like NOW.

Bob: WHAT? Why??

Me: I'm out of tampons.

Bob: You're out of tampons? There are none under the sink? Do we have to go out now?

Me: Yes, I'm totally out! All gone, no more! And yes, we have to go out now! I'm on my last one, and I'm going to need more tomorrow morning!

Bob: Well, how long do those things last?

Me: *I embark on a long lecture about the dangers of Toxic Shock Syndrome* ........so I can't just use one for that long, which means we need to go out NOW! God! And you have to come with me, because I don't want to go all by myself! MAN, I can't even BELIEVE you! "How long do they last" indeed!

Bob: OKAY! I didn't know these TSS things, I don't use tampons!

Me: Okay, let's go! *bouncing around on the bed impatiently*

Bob: *groaning* I can't even believe this. I'll go with you, but damnit Becca, you're buying TWO boxes this time! This is NOT going to happen again!



So..... I am lucky enough to be with an awesome guy who (even though he gives me some shit about running out of tampons at one o'clock in the morning) will crawl out of bed, put his jeans back on, and go with me all the way to the market so I don't have to go alone.

Wow.

How many women can say that?

<3