I was just talking to a friend the other day about one of my biggest pet peeves this year: female actresses in action movies. More specifically, their tendancy towards the stick thin image of “beauty” that is so strived for that leaving you wondering, “how the hell did she just throw that guy twenty feet away when her arm looks like a toothpick?!”

There are a few notable exceptions, of course - Linda Hamilton, “Terminator 2″. Sigourney Weaver, “Alien 3″. Jessica Biel (surprisingly!), “Blade Trinity”. These women had a respectable amount of muscle tone. They looked like badasses that you wouldn’t want to mess with.




Now let’s take a look at he other end of the spectrum. Charlize Theron, “Aeon Flux”. Milla Jovovich, “Resident Evil”, “Resident Evil: Apocalypse”, “Ultraviolet”. Alexa Davalos, “Chronicles of Riddick”. Oh, and how about this one? Sarah Michelle Gellar. Seven seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Was it just me, or did she actually lose muscle mass?

I think the whole “toothpick” beauty ideal is disgusting anyway. And it’s a little off topic, but THANK YOU MADRID for banning underweight models from your fashion shows!!! Long live healthy BMIs!!! But, anyway… back to my rant. So not only do these actresses look unhealthy and unattractive, they make themselves completely unbelieveable in the rolls they play. How is it that this continues to be encouraged in the media? My god, when the Tomb Raider movies came out, everyone was talking about how “hardcore” Angelina Jolie’s training had been. Umm… where was her muscle definition? Was it hiding? Did it not like the camera? (Notice I don’t even bother to bring up “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”…)

I wonder who would win: Demi Moore - “G.I. Jane”, or (good lord) Keira Knightly - “King Arthur”. How about these disappointments? Jennifer Garner in ”Elektra”. Actually, I will say that at least Garner isn’t as stick thin as these other examples. Kristanna Loken in ”BloodRayne” was a brutal disappointment to me. She wasn’t rail thin, but she looked kinda like a couch potato. She is a freaking BAD ASS VAMPIRE ACTION HERO! Give her a LITTLE freaking muscle!!! And Anne Parillaud, “La Femme Nikita”? Please. I could break her over my knee. Summer Glau, of “Firefly” and “Serenity”. Yes, I understand that due to tampering of her brain in theory she is supposed to be a badass warrior. Guess what? Physically she’s so frail that she couldn’t possibly do half the things she does on screen. I will conclude with Kate Beckinsdale in the “Underworld” movies. Enough said.

I understand that some of the above mentioned characters have power that negates the need for physical prowess. We’ll use Buffy the Vampire Slayer as an example. But don’t you have to train to get that good? Guess what - All that training, in theory, is going to build muscle.

I’m sick of seeing pathetic stick insects playing badass heroines. I don’t like action heroes who look like they weigh less than my sister’s dog. So let’s hear it for muscle tone! You don’t have to be buff, ripped, weightlifter built… just try not to look like you’re anorexic or don’t do anything but sit on your couch and watch TV, please. It would do wonders for the image of the female action hero in the movies. And it would sure make me enjoy them a hell of a lot more. ^_^

So, in conclusion… are we betting on Sarah Michelle Gellar--





-- or Linda Hamilton?