Monday morning, around ten or eleven, my cell phone began to ring. I look at the caller ID and see Suzanne. My landlady.

Was she calling to tell me that she was going to have the tree growing right next to the window removed? Was she calling me to let me know that she was having a landscaper come out to clean up the nasty hedge? Or maybe calling to tell me that she finally decided to have the porch re-painted?

No.

My landlady was calling to let me know that she was planning to put my duplex on the market. As in sell it.

This caused a brief moment of panic, as Suzanne (who I adore, by the way - she's awesome) carefully explained that she wanted this to cause as little inconvenience to me as possible, and that she didn't want me to worry, and that she would be drawing up a new lease for me so that I would be protected when the place sells (I was skating by on a month to month deal). Then she says that although she's told the tenants in the unit next to mine that the place will be on the market, she only wants to talk to me about having MY unit available for agents to show. Because, "I've been here so long, she knows me better, and we have a really good relationship." And she doesn't even care what state the place is in.


Oh. Thanks.

I told her that I had spent six years in real estate, and I know how important it is for a place to be available for show, and for it to be clean and show well. I told her she could put a lock box on the door, and as long as agents called me, I didn't care if they showed when I was at work.

Me: "Oh, and when is the place going on the market?"

Suzanne: "Wednesday!"


Me: ".........."

TWO DAYS. TWO DAYS!


I am reluctant to admit it, but my place was an absolute PIT. And by "pit" I mean that you might not have wanted to walk in the front door without a bulldozer and a hazmat suit. Seriously. So this news didn't exactly come at the best of times.

Two days of serious cleaning were embarked upon. Two days of which Bob was absent for - At work the first day, which simply can't be helped, BUT in Seattle hanging out with a friend yesterday. Which could have been helped. And we really don't need to talk about it right now since I'm still pretty irritated and am liable to launch into a tirade. ^_^ Especially about the fact that I called him to find out when he would be home after I had to get off work early and was scrubbing soap scum off the bathroom wall, and he said "I'm hanging out on the Seattle waterfront in a sculpture museum..."

ANYWAY.

Every room in the house except the bedroom is spotless and ready for showing. But in the process of cleaning, I found some exciting things that I had forgotten all about, and in some cases didn't even know existed:

Item: Ninja Launcher
Location: On top of the refrigerator
Comments: This is a gun that launches inch long ninjas. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, it's awesome. ^_^

Item: Half full Amp energy drink can
Location: Upside down on my computer desk
Comments: Mess? Yeah.


Item: Various electronics chargers
Location: Scattered throughout the back room
Comments: I still have no idea what half of those chargers are for.


Item: Sketchbook
Location: Underneath my drafting table
Comments: This is a sketchbook from when I was like thirteen or fourteen. Pretty much hilarious. And comforting to see how far I've come in my drawing skills. ^_^


Item: Poop
Location: By the window in the dining room
Comments: No, I'm not kidding. Unfortunately. However, this was an extremely recent thing. It's not like I've had poop in my dining room for weeks. I promise.


Item: Papers detailing the damage to my car from 2005
Location: On top of the refrigerator
Comments: From when I hit a deer going 60 mph down Highway 308. It was kinda funny/scary reading the two page list of things that had to be fixed. Reminded me to be grateful every day I wake up in the morning.

Item: Dead spider
Location: Curtains in the dining room
Comments: All kinds of fun things in the dining room apparently.


There were lots of other things that I found, but this is a pretty good list for now. ^_^ Tonight Bob and I will be cleaning the bedroom. Until we finished, I thought I could just keep the door closed and put a sign up that says: