I fail at domesticity. I've touched briefly on this subject before, accompanied by humorous depictions of Wonder Woman cowering in fear at the prospect of having to clean my house, and not so humorous lists of odd items discovered while cleaning and their locations.

I don't just mean the cleaning angle. I am useless in the kitchen. One night Pat and I were making dinner, and I offered to take over putting together the macaroni and cheese while he ran to the store for something. He gave me a look. "Do you even know how to make macaroni?" he asked accusingly. I was offended for a moment. It wasn't like this was homemade-from-scratch-macaroni, this was in-a-box-Kraft macaroni. So, lets see.... uh.... boil water, add macaroni. Remove when finished, strain and follow the directions on the freaking box. Then I realized that his question was totally, one hundred percent legitimate. Considering my cooking (or lack of it) track record.

I occasionally even have good intentions. I own several cookbooks, all purchased with the intention of finding dishes that I couldn't live without learning how create, then slowly perfecting them until I was praised far and wide for my culinary prowess. Sometimes I get one out, page through looking at the pretty pictures thinking, this doesn't seem that hard, look, this is like cooking for beginners.

Then I order pizza.

Ah, but my domestic challenges don't end in the kitchen. I don't even own an ironing board. Or an iron. If I roll out of bed and search through the pile of clean laundry for a shirt to wear to work and it happens to be so wrinkled it looks like someone took it out of the washer, balled it up in their fists, and stowed it away for a week, I'll shake it futilely for a minute or two, then put it on anyway. It's supposed to look like this, I assure myself.

I suppose one day I'm going to have to figure out how to take better care of myself. It's not as if one can float through life without an ironing board, the ability to clean your kitchen before something starts growing mold, knowing how to do laundry without dying your underwear pink, and the skills to refrain from poisoning people with your cooking.
But pizza sounds really good tonight...