They look innocent enough, maybe even cute, but they're also not an animal to take lightly. Raccoons can be pretty vicious, and with the food shortage in Washington the raccoons are getting bolder and bolder, even going to far as to waltz uninvited into houses.

Usually I'm fairly wary of raccoons. I dislike the idea of getting mauled by any kind of animal, and after watching a certain episode of House, I have an irrational fear of getting rabies. Are the raccoons around my house rabid? Probably not. But you never know!

I got home from work one day stressed out and tired. My boss and office manager were both out of town and the office assistant was on vacation, which left me to man the office solo. This is tiring and stressful enough as it is, but a couple of things had happened that day to push me over the edge from stressed to really stressed. So when I got home I got changed. Returned a couple of phone calls. Sat down on the sofa. And I thought to myself, you know, I could use a shot of vodka. Just to chill out.

I never drink by myself. I think it's pretty sad and a little pathetic. That's not to say I've never done it - it happens to the best of us. Anyway, that one shot of vodka turned into more shots of vodka, and then Amp and vodka. And let me tell you, when you're watching Supernatural intoxicated, every single episode is the greatest episode you have ever seen.

So I wander outside because the interior of my duplex is approximately 3,000 degrees after the sun has been shining on it all day. I sit down on the porch steps watching Supernatural and drinking my Amp and vodka. After a while I catch a glimpse of movement out of the corner of my eye. I look up and see a raccoon standing about three to four feet away from me.

Generally this is where I would stand up slowly and back towards the door. Instead, thoughts of maulings and rabies never even entering my head, I grinned like an idiot and said, "hi raccoon!" The raccoon just stood where it was, looking at me. I went back to watching Supernatural, but I started wondering what the raccoon was looking at.

Then I suddenly understood. Slowly I looked back up at the raccoon, who was still standing in the same place. "You're going to try to steal my alcohol!" I accused angrily. Hastily I snatched up my glass. "No alcohol for you!" I stood up and stormed inside, slamming the door behind me.

It took a second of replaying what had just happened, but as soon as what I had done sunk in, I started laughing and couldn't stop.

So next time you're enjoying some mild summer weather and having a drink, watch out for those raccoons. They're after your booze.

Other things that are after your booze include big brothers. I recently learned that too.