The Scene: Pat and I are sitting outside about to water plants. Pat appears in a contemplative mood. I am contemplative as well. I am contemplating very seriously how to bypass the spider webs without actually touching any of them so I can get to my hose.

Pat: I wonder what it takes to reach 'plague' status.

Me: Huh?

Pat: You know. A plague. I wonder when it becomes a plague, and not 'that nasty bug that's going around'.

Me: Oooh. (I'm thinking about something that logically should come before plague. I'm searching for the word, and I can't for the life of me remember the what it is. Of course, NOW I remember. EPIDEMIC. But I didn't remember at the time, so the silence stretches on as I wrack my brain which apparently retains information about as well as a colander retains water. )

Silence.

Me: I don't know.

Pat: But plague doesn't just apply to illness. Like 'a plague of locusts'. How many locusts does there need to be to have a plague of them? And can that apply to anything bad that there are a bunch of?

Me: Definitely. Like on my back deck there's a plague of bees.

Pat: (laughs) I think that any more than one bee is definitely a plague. And you definitely have a plague of bees on your back deck.

Me: And in my kitchen there are a plague of dirty dishes. And in my hallway a plague of disorganized CDs. And in my bedroom a plague of laundry...

And at work today I've been harassed by a plague of phone calls while simultaneously trying to handle a plague of faxes and help a plague of clients....