The Scene: Standing in the market in the produce department where Bob works. Bob takes a ten minute break. We determine that he is going to come over to my place tonight. Big surprise - he practically lives at my place right now. ^_^

Me: So what do you want for dinner?

Bob: Funny you should ask. I was actually thinking about crab.

Me: *excited* Ooo, crab!

Bob: Yeah, you've been talking about it this week so I thought it would go over well. I'll pick up the crab when I get off work.

We wander over to the live crab display, and I suddenly realize that Bob is talking about purchasing live crab, not the happily frozen, dismembered crab legs, which is in fact what I have been talking about.

Me: We're not getting live crab.

Bob: *stunned* Why not?

Me: You're not going to kill crabs in my kitchen!

Bob: But... I need to learn how to cook crabs! A girl here told me all about how to do it, and I really want to try!

Me: You've never even done it before? We are not experimenting with killing and cooking whole crabs in my kitchen!

Bob: Oh, come on!

Me: I don't even have big enough pots anyway!

Bob: Sure you do! You have two pots, two crabs... they can practice synchronized dying - float up to the top at the same time-"

Me: *cutting Bob off* That's horrible! No!

Bob: But it's so fresh! All you do is drop them into the boiling water -

Me: Yeah! While they're ALIVE, and that is not going to happen in my kitchen!

Bob: Come on! Look! *points at the crab display where one crab has managed to climb on top of his fellow crabs and is sticking one leg desperately out of the tank* See? He wants to come home and be eaten!

Me: No, he's begging for rescue. He wants to escape.

Bob: Well, what did you have in mind when you were talking about crab?

Me: The pre-dead ones!

Bob: *bursts out laughing* Pre-dead, huh?

Me: Yes!

Bob: Why are you being like this about the live crab? You eat beef, what about the cows?

Me: The cows aren't slaughtered in my kitchen, Bob.

Bob: Becca, the "pre-dead" crabs are gross. Lets just get the live ones.

Me: NO! We are not killing crabs in my kitchen!

Bob: Fine, we'll get the dead ones. *Bob walks over and looks down at the whole crabs sitting on ice*

Me: You just said they were gross!

Bob: Well, if you're going to be all stubborn about the live crab...

Me: Why don't we just get crab legs?

Bob: Come on, let's just get the live crab!!!

We argued about the crab for all of Bob's ten minute break. We ended up getting sectioned King crab legs, shrimp, corn, and potatoes. It was an amazing dinner, and nothing died in my kitchen.