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Becca
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Things I Have Learned About Stella
1. Kitty (a.k.a. Stella) thinks that hands and feet and faces are fun toys.
2. Kitty also thinks that earrings (when they are attached to ears) are fun toys.
3. Kitty’s favorite game involves waiting until Rebecca is asleep, crouching on her windowsill, then jumping on her face (Rebecca has since started spraying kitty with water from a squirt bottle every time she gets on that window sill, because that is not one of Rebecca’s favorite games).
4. Kitty requires her litter box to be immaculate, filled with evenly distributed litter, a plastic garbage bag beneath it with at least a half inch of litter on the floor covering it, and the life size cardboard stand up of Spike the vampire hiding the litter box. If one of these elements is not in place, Kitty will poop on the floor.
5. Kitty thinks that cute white stuffed fluffball bunnies are fun toys and will maul them.
6. Kitty thinks it is fun to learn how to open cupboards and knock Rebecca’s garbage can on the floor.
7. Kitty enjoys wandering around meowing at the top of her voice for no apparent reason.
8. Kitty thinks Rebecca’s toothbrush is a fun toy.
9. Kitty thinks it is fun when Rebecca’s mom comes over wearing a long skirt that she can hide underneath and devour mom’s flesh at her leisure.
10. Kitty is a demon.
11. Kitty thinks that Cadbury Mini Eggs are fun toys.
12. Kitty thinks it is fun to interfere as much as possible when Rebecca tries to make her bed. This usually involves flying leaps into the middle of the bed, attacking Rebecca’s hands, and latching on with needle-like claws to any covers that Rebecca s attempting to spread.
13. Kitty enjoys sitting right in front of the computer monitor, and occasionally sitting on the keyboard causing random buttons to be pressed and strange things to happen.
14. Kitty thinks that hands controlling computer mice are fun toys.
15. Kitty waits by the door for Rebecca to come home, and as soon as Rebecca picks her up she purrs.
16. Kitty makes the home where Rebecca lives all alone feel full of life.
17. Kitty will sleep near (sometimes on) Rebecca’s face early in the morning and purr.
18. If Rebecca steps outside but does not leave the front porch, Kitty will sit on the windowsill, watch her, and meow until she comes back inside. Then she will repeat # 15.
19. Kitty will sit on the edge of the bathtub when Rebecca takes a bath and will stick her paw in the water every once in a while to see if it is less wet. Kitty is very cute when she does this.
20. When Rebecca is watching a movie and is covered in a blanket, Kitty likes to sit on Rebecca’s lap underneath the blanket and purr.
Rebecca loves Kitty.
Rebecca is going to stop talking about herself in the third person now.
^_^
2. Kitty also thinks that earrings (when they are attached to ears) are fun toys.
3. Kitty’s favorite game involves waiting until Rebecca is asleep, crouching on her windowsill, then jumping on her face (Rebecca has since started spraying kitty with water from a squirt bottle every time she gets on that window sill, because that is not one of Rebecca’s favorite games).
4. Kitty requires her litter box to be immaculate, filled with evenly distributed litter, a plastic garbage bag beneath it with at least a half inch of litter on the floor covering it, and the life size cardboard stand up of Spike the vampire hiding the litter box. If one of these elements is not in place, Kitty will poop on the floor.
5. Kitty thinks that cute white stuffed fluffball bunnies are fun toys and will maul them.
6. Kitty thinks it is fun to learn how to open cupboards and knock Rebecca’s garbage can on the floor.
7. Kitty enjoys wandering around meowing at the top of her voice for no apparent reason.
8. Kitty thinks Rebecca’s toothbrush is a fun toy.
9. Kitty thinks it is fun when Rebecca’s mom comes over wearing a long skirt that she can hide underneath and devour mom’s flesh at her leisure.
10. Kitty is a demon.
11. Kitty thinks that Cadbury Mini Eggs are fun toys.
12. Kitty thinks it is fun to interfere as much as possible when Rebecca tries to make her bed. This usually involves flying leaps into the middle of the bed, attacking Rebecca’s hands, and latching on with needle-like claws to any covers that Rebecca s attempting to spread.
13. Kitty enjoys sitting right in front of the computer monitor, and occasionally sitting on the keyboard causing random buttons to be pressed and strange things to happen.
14. Kitty thinks that hands controlling computer mice are fun toys.
15. Kitty waits by the door for Rebecca to come home, and as soon as Rebecca picks her up she purrs.
16. Kitty makes the home where Rebecca lives all alone feel full of life.
17. Kitty will sleep near (sometimes on) Rebecca’s face early in the morning and purr.
18. If Rebecca steps outside but does not leave the front porch, Kitty will sit on the windowsill, watch her, and meow until she comes back inside. Then she will repeat # 15.
19. Kitty will sit on the edge of the bathtub when Rebecca takes a bath and will stick her paw in the water every once in a while to see if it is less wet. Kitty is very cute when she does this.
20. When Rebecca is watching a movie and is covered in a blanket, Kitty likes to sit on Rebecca’s lap underneath the blanket and purr.
Rebecca loves Kitty.
Rebecca is going to stop talking about herself in the third person now.
^_^
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