The Scene: I'm taking a quick break from work and calling up Bob to chat. We talk for a few minutes, and Bob mentions that he's going to take his car over to his parents' house to fix an oil leak.

Me: So how long do you think that's going to take?

Bob: I have no idea. It totally depends.

Me: You must have some idea. I really want to see the new Aliens vs. Predator movie tonight, and I'd kinda like to know when we could go.

Bob: *laughing* Oh, really? Well, if everything goes smoothly it should only take a hour or two. If there are problems it could take way longer. Like if blah blah blah Car Speak happened, it could take way longer, and if blah blah blah Car Speak pins broke off I would have to buy new blah blah blah Car Speak, and then I wouldn't be able to drive my car."

Me: *eyes glazing over* Oh.

Bob: It's a really messy job.

Me: Why? *I realize suddenly that I've made a huge mistake, but by now it's too late*

Bob: Blah blah blah Car Speak, blah Car Speak blah, coolant, blah blah Car Speak...... etc. etc. etc..... (for several minutes) .....then burp it to get the air bubles out.

Me: *out of the whole conversation, I recognize maybe two words and terms* Bob, you tell me these things, but I don't know what they mean and as soon as you tell me I forget what you said.

Bob: Well, you know what coolant is, right? Cools the engine, it's green....

Me: I didn't know that it cooled the engine, and I didn't know it was green.

Bob: Well, it's-

Me: Bob. If you try to explain, I will instantly forget. Do you know what I do with cars?

Bob: What?

Me: I push the gas pedal and make it go. I can even turn the headlights on. And sometimes, if I'm feeling really adventurous, I'll push the back window defroster. But that's kinda scary... it's pushing it a little.

Bob: Your back defroster is on all the time.

Me: What? My God! It's broken!

Bob: *laughing*

Me: So, what are we having for lunch?


......

For the record, I'm really not that bad. I can pop the hood, refill my own windshield wiper fluid, and pump my own gas and everything!

^_^