I took a late lunch break today.  Not suspecting the horror that was about to transpire, I calmly wandered into the kitchen with my cell phone, thinking about my frozen lean cuisine lunch and wondering if maybe, just maybe, this time it wouldn't taste like cardboard.

All was proceeding as it should. The frozen lunch went into the microwave and I sat down at the table to wait when I heard something, something that didn't belong.  Something.... buzzing.  Slowly, filled with dread, I turned and looked over at the window directly behind me, only to come face to face with a hornet.

So lately I've been very committed to getting healthier (and more importantly back into my expensive jeans that I haven't been able to squeeze myself into for ages). This has involved being very motivated to work out and eat properly. The exercise and the eating healthy is working out pretty well for me - I've been feeling more energetic during the day, I'm seeing some progress on the scale, and most importantly, I'm really proud of myself. It's a great feeling.

This weekend I was on the phone with my mom, trying to remember the name of a game we used to play almost twenty years ago.

"It was that one, you know, with the knights, and they're running around Spain, and the intro music goes dun duuuun dun dun... we had that giant map that we kept having to look at!"

Fortunately Mom knew exactly what I was talking about since I'm pretty sure most people would have written me off as a raving lunatic at that point.

Thus I set off on my Mission - to find and download Vengeance of Excalibur, a 1991 DOS RPG. My shiny Playstation 3 sat unused and neglected as I curled up on the sofa and took a trip down memory lane. DOSBox, a handy DOS emulator, allowed me to experience old favorites from the early '90s just the way I remembered them. Vengeance of Excalibur, Prophecy of the Shadow, Zork text adventures, King's Quest...

Don't get me wrong - I love our newer video games, with their hyper-realistic graphics, their smooth gameplay and control schemes, their good (and bad) voice acting... but there is definitely something to be said for our old favorites. Sitting in front of a computer typing commands into a text based RPG can be just as satisfying as staring dumbstruck at the latest Final Fantasty CGI cutscenes.

You also tend to notice things about older games that you may not have noticed when you first played them. Like how King's Quest V is really a story about one man's EPIC acid trip.

Axe. They have all these hideously sexist commercials that invariably leave me massively irritated every time I accidentally see one. I've managed to successfully avoid them for quite a while now, but the other day Jordan and I were pulling up something to watch on Hulu, and lo and behold, a commercial for the new "Axe Detailer" paraded itself before my eyes.

I love my new job. I really do. The constant challenges of real estate are always exciting to me, and I love the small group of people I work with. But when my boss asked me to schedule a photo shoot for new team photos and a portrait of me for my business cards, I immediately hated my life. Having my picture taken is something I'm usually okay with, but a professional photo shoot? Ack!


Dutifully I called the photographer and scheduled the appointment, and on the assigned day, the three of us - myself, my boss, and the buyer agent - all drove to the studio. The photographer instantly put me at ease and I started to relax. She was gentle, soft spoken, and her studio felt homey. She chatted with us for a while, then sent us to the area where she planned to take her pictures. I looked down to make sure I was standing where she had asked me to, and when I looked back up, everything had changed.



Her eyes blazed red behind her camera, and I swear I could see tiny horns poking up from her forehead. "Rebecca! Get closer to Frank! Get that hair out of your eyes! Rob! Put that hand in your pocket!" The orders were barked with ferocity, and we scrambled to obey. She grinned at us, baring sharp, pointed teeth. "HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!" I managed a bright false smile, shaking in my 4" heeled pumps.



The ordeal continued for several excruciating minutes as she snarled and snapped. Finally she walked over to me and raked my bangs out of my face. "Do you have any hairspray?" she asked. I told her I didn't, and felt my eyes widen as her eyes flared a brighter red and steam trickled out of her ears. "I'll fix it with Photoshop," she grated to herself. I resolved to have at least eight cans of hairspray in my car from then on out.



The shooting continued until she was satisfied. "All right," she said cheerfully, all trace of the demonic presence inhabiting her slight frame gone without a trace. "Let's take a look!" She loaded the photos onto her computer and projected the results onto a screen against the far wall. She offered friendly, gentle advice on which photos she would recommend. When we had decided, she turned to me. "We're doing a portrait of you by yourself, right?"



And it started all over again.



By the end of the two and a half hours that we were there, I felt like I had been raked over the coals. But the photos turned out nicely.

SleepyJane just asked me what my thoughts were on the fourth season of Supernatural, and I'm sorry to say it opened the floodgates.

Clothes

It was Friday night when I broke.

One thing I haven't done near enough of in my life is travel.

When I was much younger my family would take cross country road trips from Washington to the east coast to visit family, so I have seen quite a bit of the U.S. But as far as my adult life goes...

I went to Boston that one time?

There are so many places to see in this world, and no good reason not to see them. I had this idea in my head that travel was astronomically expensive, out of reach for a small town office drone like myself. Then my cousin flew out from Boston. Total price of his round trip tickets? Around $300.

I did some quick searching and found I could end up in a lot of places in the U.S. for under $200, and outside of the U.S. for under $600. Completely shattered the "traveling is WAY to expensive for ME" thought, and left me with a fair amount of excitement. Working on my finances for a month or two has freed up a surprising amount of money, and if I was so inclined, I could afford to head out of town right now.

My new plan is to try to take two trips a year. One within the U.S. and the other outside of the U.S. I'm not going to have any destination in mind, I'm just going to check around, find out where it would be cheapest to fly to, and head there for a few days to a week. I'll see places that I never would have chosen to visit, and while this may or may not be a good thing, at least I'll have seen them.

Most of my vacation time has been eaten up by taking days off here and there, then the week long vacation last week, but I plan to go somewhere random this fall. Maybe September or October.

It's going to be difficult for me. I've been described as a "homebody" on more than one occasion, and I can't in all honesty deny it. What can I say? I love sleeping in my own bed. But... there will really never be a better time to start seeing new places. I'm not married. I don't have children. I don't have major debt. And I don't want to be sitting in my rocking chair knitting socks when I'm eighty thinking to myself, "man, I wish I had actually done some of that stuff I talked about doing when I was younger."

It's within reach. Not necessarily within easy reach, but with a touch of planning and good financial management, definitely within reach. Now all that's left is to do it.

My cousin Jared and I. Good times. =)

Me: **hiccup** So what I'm saying is **hiccup** that you should really **hiccup** think about what**hiccup** ....I give up....

Pat: You sound like a poorly buffered internet movie.

Me: .......

You haven't seen me at my professional best until you've seen me leave a message for someone I hate.

While Becca is a touch disappointed that there is simply nothing to be done about her huge nose, she does love her new haircut.

Ah, the Oscars... I have such a love/hate relationship with you.

Frequently I sputter in outrage over the movies selected to receive the prestigious awards. Frequently I cry out in frustration at the long acceptance speeches. Frequently, and this is my favorite part, I shriek in horror at OSCAR FASHION.

Yes, the only reason I watch the Oscars at all is honestly just to check out who is wearing the ugliest dress, and though Oscar Fashion was kind of boring this year, I had plenty to scream and avert my eyes from.

Behold my discoveries.

Amanda Seyfried may well have escaped my notice completely were it not for the giant bow in the middle of her dress. Without the bow, the dress would have been boring, but sometimes boring is the lesser of two evils.

Beyonce, your dress was as terrible as your performance. In fact, I don't even want to talk about it.

I really like Heidi Klum's shoes. I do not love her dress. The neckline sort of makes me feel like her dress wasn't quite finished yet, but she wore it to the Oscars anyway even though there were still a few seams that needed to be sewn. "I'm Heidi Klum!" she probably announced airily. "Everyone will think this is what it's supposed to look like, and I'll be stunning!" You are pretty neat, Heidi, but no, bad dress.

Jessica Biel gleefully snatched a curtain from her picture window and wrapped it around herself with a flourish while brandishing her empty wine bottle. "I'm going in THIS! I'll just tuck a table runner into it, and I'm ready to go!"

I think Marisa Tomei is a stunning creature. However, and you may not be able to tell from the angle of this photo, from the waist down her dress looks as though it was created by stapling a bunch of those fold-out paper fans together. TOO MANY PLEATS!

The next time Melissa George appears at the Oscars will be for her ground-breaking role as a mermaid. Seriously though... super skinny, tight, constricting dress suddenly exploding into a mass of tulle? No.

Miley Cyrus.... if I never hear her name again I'll die a happy woman. I'll also die a happy woman if I never have to see this dress again. I just... I don't even know what to say about it, except.... EWWW.

I actually think Penelope Cruz looks lovely. Lovely if she were at her own vintage wedding. Which, if I may point out, she is not.


Sarah Jessica Parker. How I loathed you in Sex and the City. How I have often scoffed at your clothing, and true to form, last night was no exception. I am somewhat grateful to you, however, for your attempt to look like a fairy princess with smashed boobs bulging out of your dress certainly gave me something to laugh about. (Seriously, you can't tell so much in this picture, but the boob bulge was BAD.)


Now I don't actually know who Vanessa Hudgens is (or even how to spell her name) but I do know that the random sprouting of feathers and whatsits from her chest, paired with the boufy (shut up, that's a word!) bottom, really make this dress a piece of work. A piece of burn it in a bonfire work.

Now that I've insulted several famous women on their choice of outfit, I'd like to turn to the actresses that I thought looked amazing:

Although I was not fond of (and by "not fond of" I mean "hated with a firey passion") Amy Adam's necklace, I thought her dress was stunning. Dramatic, flattering, and interesting without looking weird from any angle. Lovely.

I heard Freida Pinto caught a lot of flack for wearing this dress because it was "too old for her". To be honest I can kind of see where the nay-sayers are coming from, but the color is so gorgeous on her, the lace is so pretty, and it has such an awesome sari-like feel to it, that I say good job.

This is Harvey Weinstein and Georgina Chapman. I don't know who Georgina Chapman is, but her dress is awesome. It reminds me of some crazy tapestry or maybe an awesome rug. I know it sounds weird, but I really like that dress!

Natalie Portman is a wee, petite sprite of lovely. I'm not 100% crazy about the color, but I just love the overall look.

Most everyone at the Oscars feel into three catagories: LOVE IT, GROSS, and BORING. There were a few, however, that I simply couldn't figure out how I felt about.

I think Jennifer Aniston is quite pretty, even if she's never been one of my favorite actresses (and MY GOD I hated 'Friends'!) but I think her dress is okay. It's the hair that's making me nuts! Elegant, fairly simple dress, with that hair! I just... I don't know.

Kate Winslet could show up at the Oscars wrapped in a shiny black trashbag with thigh high hooker boots and I would still comment on how gorgeous she was. But still... I'm not crazy about the dress. And again with the hair! You can't really see it in this picture, but it totally ruined everything. With great hair I'm pretty sure I would have liked the dress.

Taraji Henson has an awesome name and an awesome necklace. However, I can't decide if I adore her dress, or if it looks like someone ran in circles around her really fast with a roll of paper towels.

Lastly, there is always a person or two who you love because they're so crazy, and you secretly hope they'll show up wearing something bizarre.

Mickey Rourke, the only man who stands out enough in a crowd to warrant making it into my blog post. How I adore you and your craziness!

As far as award show getup goes this is tame as far as Tilda Swinton is concerned. But... it's TILDA SWINTON! I both worship her, and am sort of scared of her.

And so ends Oscar Fashion 2009 with Becca. I missed the Oscars last year, but I did cover Oscar fashion in 2007. The formatting broke when I transferred it from Wordpress, there are typos, and the writing is poor, but you get the idea.

Until next year!

*Photos were jacked from here: http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/02/oscar_red_carpet.html