300
R
2007
**** out of ****

Ahhhh, the movie that we’ve all (well, maybe not all of us, but at least my friends and I) have been waiting months upon months that felt like years upon years to see. Despite well intentioned plans of going to see this movie at the Imax theater, we were foiled by our local Imax being completely and hopelessly dumb and not playing it, so we had to go see it in the normal theater. While it probably would have been even more amazing in the Imax, it was still plenty incredibly unbelievably amazing in the normal theater. ^_^ And this is just a prelude to all the praise I intend to heap upon it in this review. Which probably shouldn’t be called a review. Maybe a worshipful homage.

While the film is of course loosely based on the real life history of the three hundred Spartans VS the Persian empire, it is far more closely based on Frank Miller’s graphic novel, “300″. Unfortunately I have not personally had a chance to view the graphic novel, but I would imagine that is definitely were the more outlandish and unrealistic elements came from.

Premise: The premise of this film is simple. Three hundred Spartans stand defiant in the face of a Persian army composed of something like 100,000 men. That’s pretty much it. ^_^ Small subplot follows the Spartan queen as she urges the council to send the whole of the Spartan army to aid her king in his fight against the Persians, while the wicked traitor councilman attempts to foil her.

In this movie, there is not one element that falls short of expectations. The writing is great, the acting is great, the special effects are great, the fighting choreography is great, the sound editing is great, the cinematography is great, etc. The ultimate badasses of the Spartan army are beautifully portrayed by actors who went through brutal training to achieve the rock hard sculpted bodies you see on the screen, and Lena Headey, who plays the Spartan queen, is perfect: Beautiful, but obviously just as hardcore badass in her own way as the Spartan men.

The fighting was brilliant - the choreography was incredible, shield, spear, and sword. Also utterly believeable. I’ve never seen anything quite like it. I loved how unique it felt, with the complete and utter integration of their shields into their fighting style. It lent it credibility - you could almost see real life Spartans back in the day fighting almost just like this.The acting was excellent - although to be fair, it’s not like the roles were all that challenging. Gerard Butler: Look menacing, yell (no, roar) a lot, and every once in a while take on a forcefully tender expression. Lena Headley: Look stern and uncompromising, every once in a while take on a repressed grieved expression. All the rest of the Spartans: See Gerard Butler. And the writing was sharp - filled with odd spots of humor through the movie that livened it up.

The visuals in this movie were absolutely stunning. For one thing, the makeup and costuming artists did a fantastic job. Not much else to say there. The movie is filled with sharp contrasts of light and dark, while most of the colors remain muted and slightly grainy, making for an intense visual experience. It’s beautifully done, and very striking. And it never lets up. From the beginning of the movie to the very end.

Obviously those who don’t care for graphic violence should not see this film. Though definitely not a bloodbath movie (actually there was surprisingly few blood and guts scenes), it’s filled with other graphic imagery: A tree completely covered with dead bodies affixed to its trunk and limbs, a wall of corpses (there were quite a few corpse wall shots), slow motion decapitations and limb severing, etc. The violence is all quite artful, though, although I’m sure there will be those who disagree with me. ^_^

All in all, the movie is, in my never to be humble opinion, a masterpiece, instant classic, my new favorite movie. You walk out of the theater feeling energized, and (if you’re me, at least) keep saying to your friends who saw the movie with you, “that was so FUCKING BAD ASS!!!” usually followed up with “holy SHIT!” Then, a little while later, “those Spartans were FUCKING BAD ASS!!!” and so on and so forth. ^_^

And, as my friend Bob said, going to the theater from now on will always be a bit of a let down, because nothing will ever come close to being as awesome as Frank Miller’s 300. And now, a few more photos for your enjoyment. ^_^