The Covenant
**1/2 out of ****

The Covenant is one of the most wholeheartedly silly movies I have ever seen. And you have to love it just for that reason! I only gave it two and a half stars simply because the movie is SO BAD, but that shouldn't suggest that I didn't enjoy it, because I most certainly did! Immensely!

So there's this covenant of four families. The eldest son (at least I think it was the eldest son... I can't really remember) of each family inherits these uber powers. But there's a catch! The uber powers are addicting, and bad for you! If you use them enough it makes you age really really fast, so you become an ancient old man by the time you're forty. Good incentive not to use 'em, huh?

Enter the only son of the lost fifth family!

Naturally, Mr. Fifth Family is baaad news. Totally addicted to the power, and wants more. Main character is approaching his 18th birthday, the time of "Ascension" when the kid turning 18 gets his full powers, and guess what? Bad Guy wants Good Guy to "will" him the power, which will of course kill Good Guy. What might convince Good Guy to do this, you might wonder? Bad Guy holding the Pretty Blond Girl hostage, of course! Oooooh!


I feel that I need to take a moment to explain the best part of this movie. See photo: <---------- This is the main character's best friend. He is also possibly the WORST actor I have ever seen in my life. This is an extremely high distinction because I have seen a lot of movies. I'm not kidding - almost every line he says makes you want to laugh. However, he is definitely eye candy. And when you see the men's locker room scene and behold the god-like body that this actor posseses, you will immediately understand. ^_^ MMMMM! Anyway.... where was I.... The movie has a few things going for it. First and foremost, it tries to take itself a little too seriously, and I think there were multiple scenes that were really, really funny that weren't intended to be humorous. This always makes for an entertaining movie experience! ^_^ The dialog is entertainingly bad and chheesy from start to finish, and the acting is laughable. The special effects are (I'm sure!) where 99% of the budget for this film went, so there was definitely entertainment value there, and the fight scenes were hysterical!

It really is a movie made for teens. Younger teens. So if you see it, just be warned that a sillier action/thriller movie you will never come across. This is a movie you watch purely for a laugh. I went and saw it with Andrew and Bob. Bob appreciated it for what is was, like I did - I think Andrew was somewhat less impressed. ^_^ It's not for everyone.