Evil Incarnate

I've been having some trouble thinking of something amusing and/or possibly witty to post about. That will happen when you're sleeping only a few hours a night and aren't really eating that much. Oh yeah, and I drank about a bottle and a half of wine last night.



So anyway, I submit to you.....



THIS:



Engadget.com says: Homegrown alarm clock tests your math to gauge alertness



We've seen some fairly sinister alarm clocks in our day -- ones that fly around, nearly make you go deaf and "explode" if you don't get up in time, for starters -- but this DIY creation is definitely lobbying for top honors. The Turing Alarm Clock, which has admittedly been making the rounds of late, starts making racket just as any other alarm clock when the time comes, but rather than letting you smash the snooze button, it forces you to answer math questions with varying levels of difficulty before quieting down. Evil? Sure. Effective? You betcha. Check the video after the jump.



Now is it just me, or does this seem like the cruelest invention to be created by man (possibly with satanic inspiration)? I won't be getting one any time soon, that's for sure.

The Torture Chamber

Q. So if someone hands you a coil of razor wire, a latex glove, and a handful of nails and says, "hey, chew on this for an hour", where are you?

A. The dentist's office!

Okay, so they don't actually give you razor wire and nails, but damn that's what my mouth feels like when they're finished. So I go through all of that, then the dentist comes in, glances inside my mouth for about two and a half seconds, and tells me that I take perfect care of my teeth - they're fantastic. Oh, and remember to get those wisdoms removed before you're twenty-five!

Thanks, man. Thanks.

Quotes to Remember

I had dinner with a very good friend of mine recently. We talked a lot about a lot of different things, including the past men in our lives. When she was in college she was dating a basketball player who happened to be extremely religious. One day he said to her (not entirely serious, but not really joking):

"You are going to burn in the devil's frying pan."

I have to admit I got a pretty good laugh out of that. ^_^


On another note, I've started a blog to chronicle my exploits in the infamous World of Warcraft:

http://azerothianencounters.blogspot.com


And P.S.....

I'm starving. ^_^ Is it lunch time yet?

Thou Shalt Not

The undignified, painful, and just all around yicky That Time of the Month is upon me. I am irritated. And I would like to take a moment to remind those of the male gender about the Ten Commandments of That Time of the Month:

1. Thou Shalt Not argue with the Woman. Ever. Until such time as she sighs with relief and proclaims That Time of the Month to have passed.

2. Thou Shalt Not make fun of the Woman in her delicate time.

3. Thou Shalt Not remind the Woman that she was going to start a diet when she demands a Dominos Pizza or chocolate bar.

4. Thou Shalt Not condem the Woman for wanting to watch When You Were Sleeping, Sex in the City, or other such chick TV.

5. Thou Shalt Not argue with the Woman. Ever. What? I said that already? NO I DIDN'T!

6. Thou Shalt agree with the Woman all the time, no matter what she says, even if she makes ludicrous statements.

7. Thou Shalt watch whatever movie the Woman wants to watch.

8. Thou Shalt provide a shoulder to cry on should the Woman's emotions become too much for her.

9. Thou Shalt provide Dominos Pizza and ice cream.

10. Thou Shalt give copious amounts of sympathy when the Woman complains about mentrual cramps.

Obey these Ten Commandments.

OR ELSE.